Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
