I hate your face
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
