I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
