I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
True college students do jello shots in the library
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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