He asked me if I "almost moaned"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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