whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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