Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
