There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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