We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
