NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
