Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize