I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
