dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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