He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
