haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
