tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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