i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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