Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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