Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
