The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
