it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
