we're blogging at a bar
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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