Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
