just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
