so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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