So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
