the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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