Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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