Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
