i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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