Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
