I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
