I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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