im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
