okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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