New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
