ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize