I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize