remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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