in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
