Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
