I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it's like heaven, but drunker
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
