he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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