Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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