Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
