Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
