You're completely useless in the revolution.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize