Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
