Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
