Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
