it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
