i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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