Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
