I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
In other news, I just burned my penis
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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