i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
