have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize