I love black thongs
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
3pm strippers are depressing
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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