First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
