I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize