therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
