miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
