Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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