I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
