Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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