seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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