when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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