i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
