Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
