Welp...herpes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
