Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I AM VODKA MAN
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
