why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
