Yo dont text me then not text me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
