i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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