It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
