This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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