i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
