I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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