can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
