All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
